I don’t remember how the subject came up, but the table of women at the conference were talking about stress management and I chimed in with…
“Sometimes I just hide under my desk for 10 or 15 minutes and it helps tremendously.”
The table of women stopped talking.
Turning to look at me, I’d swear the confusion on their face all said the same thing…
“You shouldn’t say that to people”
Which is a response I’ve actually gotten when I’ve shared this tid-bit in the past. I continued to share it anyway, because my opinion being weird has never been enough to shut me up.
“Really, it’s kind of soothing. When the world is big and uncontrollable the space under my desk feels small and manageable. Of course the important part is that I come OUT from under my desk!”
We all laughed and the conversation moved on, but it made me realize once again that my “alternative” background gives me some unusual (and frequently unusually helpful) ideas about how to handle life.
BDSM has offered a very concrete way of thinking when it comes to creating head space. In kinky scenes the feeling of trust (or of being off balance) is the goal and those same techniques can be used on yourself in the ‘real’ world. In this case, it’s sensory deprivation. The feeling of being restricted in bondage or small spaces can bring about a peacefulness that is often described as being “floaty”. The responsibilities of life just melt away because what can you do when you’re all tied up?
Obviously we aren’t looking to get floaty in the middle of the work day (or maybe you are, it can be a good way to break up the day!) but using the physical experience of ‘shrinking your world’ can translate into making more psychological space, even if only for a quarter of an hour. But sometimes, that’s all it takes to feel back to being able to face the world again.